sweet clarity

sweet clarity

at once concrete

then like running water

i catch a glimpse

cannot grasp

make excuses

you know every time

i think i should write it down

i should

because i forget

despite everywhere reminders

.

.

.

i still feel out of sorts

out of alignment

with the seasons

does this happen?

as we age and take up more space?

i've heard time spins faster

but i always imagined i could keep up

.

.

.

i found an old collage

i think about from time to time

i'd been looking for it recently

thought perhaps i'd thrown it out

in some fit of being a better me

now, in the present tense

i didn't think i'd ever have parted with it

but knowing that some partings aren't chosen

i stopped searching

last week as i pulled into the garage

i saw my old art portfolio

against the wall

by my car door

where it's been since the move

behind it, the collage

 started ten years ago

i'd been wanting to finish it

and so it begins

girl in circles

above the girls it reads: here's to women waging peace

.

.

.

being peace

daily struggle

my children, my guides

learning the lessons of reflection

mirrored by all

last moontime i realized

that some most all external discord

is caused by internal disharmony

and even though i often feel alone,

adrift, out to sea with no anchor

it is up to no one but me to reel myself back

again

and again

learning to ride the waves

and kiss the tide

the reluctant gift of self-reliance

.........................................................................................................