April 16, 2012

change the voice in your head

i have tried to embody faith in these words since i heard them for the first time:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

it's not easy.
i wanted to live this everyday but everyday it's very easy to forget.
everyday the world sends a host of messages and we are receptive to some more than others. we tend to get a lot of whatever we focus on, even if we're focusing on how much we don't want something, we keep getting it because it has our attention. i also think of this phenomenon as: you get what you give. what goes around comes around. with our thoughts we create our world. that kind of stuff.

in the last few days i've tried to remember that marianne williamson quote. my inner voice was telling me to read it and repeat it multiple times per day. to read it and let it sink in. i didn't look it up until today. after someone posted this on facebook: change the voices in your head, make them like you instead. - pink

i am not gonna lie. i love pink but i also live in a cave and had no idea that line was from a song called "fucking perfect."

i've heard the song before (censored, on the radio) but for the first time i watched the video and it made me cry because the whole thing is fucking perfect. WARNING: it is also intense.

change the thoughts in your head,
make them like you instead

this is probably the single most simple, yet transformative bit of wisdom. we are all indoctrinated to carry the same cultural beliefs and one of the most pervasive, subconscious, and damaging beliefs is that we're not good enough. when we believe this about ourselves we perpetuate our own cycle of self-loathing. i truly believe that changing that belief is the most radical thing we can do.

if we can only control ourselves, or more specifically, our thoughts, words, actions, reactions, etc. then it would stand to reason that change can only occur on that personal a level. we cannot change other people or situations, we can only change ourselves and that starts with our thoughts, focus, and intention.

some of us might focus on all the messages that reinforce our comfortable, but fear-based, belief system. sometimes they are ill-mannered, sometimes they are well-meaning, but they sound like this:
  • what a ridiculous idea
  • you're crazy
  • nobody wants to hear what you have to say
  • why don't you get a real job and stop pursuing (art, music, writing, whatever unconventional thing you may be doing or considering)
  • are you going to wear that?
  • and so on...
the other messages are there, the ones that dare to speak what we really want, that say it's okay to be happy. they're the messages urging us to follow our path, be ourselves, be okay with ourselves. they come from within and from the people we meet that tell us we're good enough and offer support and encouragement. these messages may not always come in the form or from the people we'd choose, but they're there.

when we focus on the messages that reinforce how bad we feel about ourselves we react with disbelief to messages like:

  • i love you
  • you're beautiful
  • i care about you
  • you are enough
  • you should write
  • you should paint
  • you're badass
  • and so on
when we focus on the negative, we don't even know how to accept compliments and we make up a million reasons why people that say anything nice about us are probably lying.

they're not.
overcoming negatively reinforcing messages takes an effort and it starts with changing our thoughts.

i have changed my thoughts and have seen measureable changes because of it but i still choose to ignore my fears. the big ones and the littles ones. all of them. i don't even like to think about them much less write them down but i also think that deep down, they're all same fear - being afraid of not being good enough and being afraid of our greatness are two sides of the same coin.

i think it's time i examine that coin and i urge everyone to do the same.
change the voices in your head and to borrow from the wisdom of joseph campbell and add to it a little: find your bliss and follow it.


  1. Amazing...impressed you mentioned Marianne Williamson who use to minister at the church I attended for a few year that woman is incredibly intelligent and full of spiritual wisdom...still have the Course in Miracles book in my trunk...yes in my trunk my intentions really were to read that book cover to cover and just have not gotten to it....probably could use it. LOVE PINK and LOVE this song...can relate to it on many levels..and this post. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Wow, I have never seen that video..so powerful! Thank you for sharing your heart..beautiful post!

  3. thank you, two <3

    D - i want to do the course in miracles - i have for years but yeah, right now there's SO much going on, but i will. i think i'll decide to start it in january since i've heard you should work it out over the course of a year. that will give me time to make the time. hee hee.


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