+ i decided to take a risk in faith that it is for the best
+ i turned 32
+ i started listening to the strangest secret in the world by earl nightingale on a daily basis
+ i have a clear and focused goal and have never felt so sure that my life was headed in the right direction
+ i realized that sometimes staying in the comforts of one's own home beats hotel life (and i used to think that stuff was fun!)
+ i have uploaded photos of at least a dozen original pieces for digital print-making purposes. i am sure there is an easier way to do what i am doing. there almost always is. but i don't have adobe illustrator and i haven't yet had time to read all about converting .jpgs to .svgs in inkscape but i am becoming more and more proficient in photoshop elements and can't complain.
+ i took out an origami kit i've had for years and made some butterflies and a dragonfly. it was rather enjoyable and while i'm not ready to start a career as an origamist, i have strung a few of the butterflies on a simple stick mobile.
+ i am focused on the good and the positive though i still think my hair is stupid and on my birthday, i realized that only two pair of my jeans were clean, and only one pair fit.
i wore these jeans for months straight in 2003. it was the worst year of my life. i say that a lot but don't often say much more. i emerged a better and stronger and more certain individual so it was also one of the best years and i am so past it. every time i think i've gained a little bit of weight i put these on and feel better because when i started "living in" these jeans i was the heaviest i've ever been, non-pregnant. i weighed more than i have when i gave birth to two of my three boys. in those months i lost 30 pounds or more and while i was arguably depressed, i was also motivated to make and uphold healthy choices in my life, which included regular yoga and pilates practice, as well as dietary changes. just because i haven't gained a crap ton of weight, doesn't mean i've still maintained that healthy lifestyle throughout the years and i am in worse shape than i've ever been. april 15th is some random date i've set to go gluten-free. i will also likely give up my dairy creamer (and therefore my coffee) and resume yerba mate or other tea with almond milk as my morning comfort habit. i am also going to do yoga on a daily basis as there really is no excuse for having gotten so off-track. it is easier to think negatively and to act upon the negative but this is my 32nd time around the sun and i am prepared to be even more present and ever-aware of my conscious and conscientious decisions to craft the life i want to live. no more passive participation. only through action will reach any of my goals, and while i no longer think they're so lofty or unattainable, i am happy to say that there are many of them!