so yesterday we almost decided on a new builder in a sort of desirable "planned community" which i have a love and hate relationship with because if you're going to live in an already creepy suburb like we're planning on moving to, you might as well live in a subdivision galore, also known as the "planned community" where the name almost implies some sort of cooperation, interaction, or relationship among the inhabitants of said community will exist, but really it's just a way for city planners and home builders to cram as many people into a certain amount of space for the most money. so we're looking at this home, with too-good-to-be-true pricing and we're like in love with the floor plan - it works better than anything else we've seen. at this point, we're both sort of sick of looking at houses (i thought this would be fun!) but honestly, if we had seen this first, we would have felt the same way...it's got everything we need, with a few buts....
side note: i lived in this suburb for twelve years. being "born and raised" in the larger, neighboring city, i hated it but learned to like it during those formative teenage years full of trouble. i became a suburb girl, through and through, and in true form, i learned to hate it again. there was a time when i would avoid certain places at certain times in order to avoid certain people. there were times when i would circle a parking lot until someone i knew left so i wouldn't have to say hello. make small talk. whatever. i wrote loathsome poetry about the place that i lived. i knew everyone and i hated everyone. the place possessed too many memories, and few were good. the place possessed too many ghosts. something like seven years ago, i moved back to the city. now, go figure, i miss the suburb again. but i still have this really strange relationship with it - i could tell you stories about my life between the ages of 14 and 16, or about the scars between the ages of 11 and 23. this place, i love. this place, hurts. my oldest son knows very little about the city, except that he lived here for three years. it's the suburb he is more comfortable with. that is his safety net, and in a way that i cannot explain, it's mine, too.
i miss my creative free form rambles but i got all deep on myself when i really just came to write about how there are a few things that concern us regarding this builder and this area of the subdivision in this suburb that i have resisted for so many years. we are definitely moving back, i'm not struggling with that at all, but feel like i can't explain how i can have misgivings about some trivial stuff without wondering if my misgivings are a sign of larger issues...as if the land that's calling me back is also leading me to perfect place...
so, without going into what our [boring] concerns are, in particular, i'll just say that mine are not the same as my husband's and we're both willing to overlook the other's concerns because we both really agree that the layout (and price) are very, very attractive. but still, as much as we're different, we're very much alike and mutually agreed to keep hunting. even though we're tired. even though we're time-pressed. even though this house could very well be just what we need....
this led us to finding a home tonight that also has everything we want, in a very well established neighborhood, not far from the home i lived in as a teenager. i love the name of the street which i have not been able to say about anything yet, even stuff we looked at in the city. and i know that might sound shallow, but really...did you ever write your name down in a notebook and try out the last names of different boys? yeah, this isn't really different. i think about how often you have write (or type) your address, or give it to someone over the phone which is already my least favorite thing to do. this is a huge consideration and i TOTALLY love this street name! it also has a huge yard. it's on a 1/4 acre but it's landscaped, with a well maintained lawn in the back with lots of space for the boys (and future dog) to roam. but before i get super excited....
it has quite a few "extras" but not as many updates as we'd like for the price. this might be good if the owners are the original ones. the house is 21 years old and they'd have shit tons of equity and may come down quite a bit, if that's the case. the photographs of the kitchens, carpet, bathroom wallpaper and all the furniture in the house lead to me to believe that it is occupied by the original owners. so.
wallpaper. ick. steel blue (or light grey) carpet. double effing ick. and the worst? pink freakin' counter tops.
i could actually almost handle pink if it was like pepto pink or some retro pink but this is like gag-me-it's-almost-peach-pink. oh dear god.
i've eaten off one of those thick, sticky, slightly padded country geese placemats. yeah, i have. and now that i think about it, that might be part of why i have so much disdain for all of it. around the same time as this country geese kitchen phase began, my mom and i started down the path of infamous mother/daughter relationships. i was in third grade. we lived in new york. i pretty much hated frozen peas and corn and she pretty much served that with dinner, every night. also, with bread and what i thought was butter and so i grew up "hating" butter, when really it was margarine and butter doesn't even taste anything like margarine and i totally love butter but wish margarine would die. especially on white bread. i can almost taste that cold, thick plastic sliding down my tongue as it seperated itself from the unnaturally soft bread. that's it, those are the reasons i can't stand the country geese. that bachelor's in psychology has paid off.
ANYWAY, why is this a big deal or even worth discussing? well, arguably, it's not worth discussing but here i am...talking to myself...this is a big deal because despite all of that. the colors. the gross vinyl flooring. the horrible, horrible pictures of this crowded home with terrible furniture that makes me wonder if the occupants aren't secret hoarders. none of it matters. i see the potential and am just as excited to see this place as i've been to see some much newer, much more impressive ones. part of me is even looking forward to decorating the outdated cabinets which have some charm about them i like (even if the hinges are *gasp* exposed!)
i actually decided to google how easy it would be to re-do the lamintate countertops, all DIY style. i came across ways to paint over it for a temporary fix (like a few year's, at least). a lot of it intimidated me and some of it downright frightened me. i read too many personal accounts of people using spray paint or polyurethane coatings on their freshly painted countertops. while most warned against using abrasive cleansers and placing hot items on the finish and some suggested not using your counter top as a cutting board, not one mentioned that holy shit, you shouldn't even breathe this stuff in, longterm, much less eat off it. cancer with your cornflakes, anyone?
so, yeah, not many people actually eat off their countertops but stuff like krylon paints just should not be promoted for use in a kitchen. at all. thank goodness i kept looking because i came across this HGTV article and i'm much more okay with acrylic based materials. i'll admit, i'm not entirely knowledgeable about the safety or environmental hazards of acyrlic but i'd be much more likely to paint the countertops now!
and i'm inspired...
it's almost like this house, with it's age and it's charm, is pumping my creative brain full of new ideas. i'm seeing so much potential in terms of decorating and truly making this house our home without all the (perceived) limitations and confines of modern home decor. what i mean is, if i lived in a newer house i know that i'd want the inside to "match" the outside. and not even because that's what i really want but because i'm crazy like that.
despite the exhaustion and indifference i've recently aquired to house hunting, i'm actually hopeful.
like, i'm really hoping this house doesn't have a strong odor.
stay tuned....
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