yes, i fully understand that it is the middle of the afternoon.
but i just made myself the most delightfully tasty cup of coffee and the sprout is in his crib, being quiet so i can fool myself into believing that he might actually take a nap. of his own volition, even.
he is not awake for lack of being tired. or lack or having nursed all day long. nope, he's awake simply because i have things to do and why nap on such a good, motivated day?
i know this is how it works. it does so at least 9 out of every 10th time i am actually motivated to do anything worthwhile around here, which is precisely why it takes me so long.
now he's crying and i'm mother of the year because i'm not making a beeline towards the crib. other people's babies take naps or sleep through the night, all on their own. without being held or nursed constantly. and my baby is more a toddler than an actual baby - he is sixteen months old - which i know is still tiny and itty and one day i'll look back and wonder if i cherished these times as much as i complained about them, but he is sixteen months old. we're night-weaning right now and so much of me wants to just wean completely. i nursed pea until he was 2.5 years old. i thought it would have lasted longer, but i was pregnant and not feeling it. once my supply dropped, the physical sensation of nursing a toddler was beyond extremely annoying. beyond. i'm not quite there again, but almost. and i do want to cherish this. i do. but i also need some freedom that comes with having my arms free and my lap free so i can move around and do things.
this is all so un-attachment parenting, i know.
he is in my lap now, sleeping, nursing. i hate that it sounds like i'm complaining and i know that it won't always be like this. he won't always be small. he won't always need me like this. he won't always want to sleep in my lap.
but every now and then i'd like a solitary coffee break.