September 7, 2014

sunday reflection

and remember how i was worried that bad shit would start rolling in?

well it did start rolling but instead of dampening my spirit, it became the fertile ground needed to grow just a little bit more.

life is a constant state of celebration and grief, always fluctuating between experience and emotion. sometimes they conflict and it is often a sign of what needs our attention. i'm putting these words into practice: even in moments of grief and loss there can also be thanks, gratitude, and love.

life as a constant state of grace.

wild was my word of the year and wild this year has been.
the last six weeks were no exception.

i've been hanging on by the seat of my pants, acting from a place of love instead of fear, wanting only the highest good and the best possible outcome (but attached to none), ready to confront and heal what keeps coming up...

i found myself back on the yoga mat, answering, though still somewhat resisting, the urgency to get back in my body, to listen to myself and to stop ignoring my intuition. not just again but from now on. always.

today i am walking in gratitude for the friendships that provide just what i need, in just the right way. the created family, fashioned of broken bits, made stronger as we walk together in our healing work.

i am also thankful for the broken bits that fell away, as painful as it was or maybe still is. i am thankful for words and stories and the breadcrumbs i have gathered, for being brave enough to face the truth, even at the cost of people and places i have loved the most. it's the price of admission for pushing through and out of anger and fear and denial.

i  have some scars to show for it and my face is weary. the sun hurts my thirty five year old eyes and they can no longer see as well in the dark, but i hold fast.

incredible things are happening.

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