i was never crazy about the cover but was drawn to it because each page contains quotes by various people of esteem. according to what i'd written in it in 2004, it was to be my "therapy journal" at the suggestion of a friend. in reflection, it was a great fit since it was a time of new beginnings (awesome papa and i had just started dating) and well, writing things down has always been my go-to form of therapy.
on the title page of this journal i'd also written the following:
how do i write the story and not become it?
that question and the accompanying fear and worry has always been at the heart of what's stopped me but now i'm no longer willing to let it get in the way. in the light, it's a silly fear anyway because the truth is simple.
i am the story.
as i mentioned in my last blog post i am writing a memoir and today, as i reflect on how long i've wanted to write and how long i've said it would be a work of fiction, i step into an empowering place, no longer shying away from my truth.
flipping through this old journal, i am reminded of why i've long identified as a girl in circles. i believe that every moment is another chance, a literal new beginning, yet so many cycles (circles, or more likely, spirals) repeat themselves until the lessons are learned or no longer needed and sometimes beginnings and endings are quite muddled things. on this healing path, i see the new beginnings unfold but am also grateful for the breadcrumbs, the clues from the past that remind me of what is essential.
i've been thinking a lot about the memoir retreat i mentioned in my last post, as well. when i said i was open to a financial windfall that wasn't to say that i'm not willing to work for it. part of me thinks anxiety would get the best of me, part of me worries that there's not enough time to come up with the funds and it would be very easy for me to chicken out, and then part of me also thinks about what i could better use that money for, not because it feels selfish, per se, but because there are other things i want to do for and with my family. the truth is, the material for my memoir is there but i don't know if i'm ready to do something this big, however, i'm open to it and while the thought of extra-work makes my winter-weary self even more exhausted, i do have a large body of work completed already.
i also see the evolution my artwork has taken over the last year and the new stuff i'm working on excites me like never before and i'd like to make more room for that - so in the spirit of new beginnings (and the possibility of going on retreat) i'd like to announce a name-your-own-price art sale!
i've got several originals in my shop and plan on listing some new stuff in the next week, so take a look! local folks can contact me about a studio tour and if there's something you've been eyeing, now just might be your chance to take it home! you can email me with offers at valeriblossom (@) gmail (dot) com or message me through my FB art page. i will accept all reasonable offers and likely a few unreasonable ones, as well ♥.♥
you only grow by coming to the end of something
and by beginning something else.
as mentioned earlier, today i am part of another kind of circle, and you can follow along with us by next visiting debi's blog (click on her name) and seeing what she has to say about beginnings in the new year.