tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post1028055674745125911..comments2023-10-04T08:58:04.024-07:00Comments on awesome. mama.: small shift in perceptionawesomamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16470214002963712590noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post-41562513712881437632012-08-28T07:42:48.601-07:002012-08-28T07:42:48.601-07:00thank you for your words of encouragement <3thank you for your words of encouragement <3<br />valeri blossomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17127320456104934949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post-67738663089211750222012-07-23T11:59:22.429-07:002012-07-23T11:59:22.429-07:00I love your art and blog! keep going, you are a go...I love your art and blog! keep going, you are a good person, and with time you will feel better!Thaizetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12332490652230910028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post-10897702351337476872012-07-17T11:37:49.495-07:002012-07-17T11:37:49.495-07:00oh, debbie, i absolutely agree with you in that my...oh, debbie, i absolutely agree with you in that my husband is the love of my life and i don't actually see my life without him...then again i take that to a very visceral level and my life could never be without him since is a part of it now, in this moment. but even on that basic level, he is the first person i've ever loved completely for who they are and don't see us ever NOT together.<br /><br />it would take a year to describe exactly how much i appreciate the give and take even when i complain, even when it's hard, but i won't get into all of that right now.<br /><br />i don't expect my husband to meet ALL of my needs, on every level, all of the time. or even half of my needs, part of the time. it would be nice if i could go to him as a one-stop experience and gain the same intellectual diversity and philosophical insight as i do by keeping other friends and seeking that fulfilment elsewhere. but that's only because i'm somewhat withdrawn and lazy and that would just be easy. i laugh because it would also take away the very thing i crave which is diversity - i kind of see everything like that...he can't serve every function i'd like in my relationships, that's why i have multiple relationships. this concept is actually how i helped forgive my mother - she wasn't or couldn't be the mom i would have wanted but her and i still have some great conversations and (finally) a healthy relationship, complete with the boundaries i worked really hard to create for myself.<br /><br />i apply those boundaries to my relationship with my husband. i am careful when my thinking becomes general, like "all men this, all men that..." but most of the time my husband's behavior is superior to "most men's" - he is almost a perfect model for the sensitive man as described by anais nin and then sometimes (like last week when i was wondering what my life would look like without him) i am so baffled by his apparent misogynist core beliefs that i wonder how he functions otherwise and why i've been with him for eight years. <br /><br />but that's just it, maybe...we have all been guilty of chalking up men's behavior to they're just being jerks but i never really put my husband in that category, i never dismiss when he is being a jerk because he just doesn't operate like one 99% of the time. then again, he pretty much keeps quiet most of the time. <br /><br />i wonder if considering asperger's as an explanation for our difficulties isn't just a way to distract myself from the idea that maybe he is "just a man" and "just a jerk" and this is what they do. all i know is it helped me remove the blame and ease into NOT internalizing it all before, which the idea that men are just assholes doesn't allow me to. when i think that way, i eventually blame myself and all women because, afterall, we're the ones raising them...that's a slippery slope, too, though. and damn it if i haven't just written an entire blog post in this comment. bah.valeri blossomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17127320456104934949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post-86534540355960315972012-07-17T09:29:17.984-07:002012-07-17T09:29:17.984-07:00Oh my distant sister..I could go on for hours abou...Oh my distant sister..I could go on for hours about this post and will probably havbe a lengthy one here for you...<br />I think it is wonderful you are coming to know that your husband is not just a jerk and for the record..everyone single man on the planet can seem all of these ways to their woman.. Men and woman are just not constructed of the same materials emtionally and mentally. I have come to believe and accept that those relationships that we all tend to see from afar as perfect, are fake. Not all but almost. <br />There is no relationship in this world without flaw and no relationship between a man and a woman that encompasses everything each expect or dream to be the perfect ideal world of companionship, support, understanding, faith, unity, and all those grovy things we all should aim to get closer to daily but never really entirely hit. <br />I would take a bullet for Don. I would do anything I could for him or his children. We have a wonderful friendship and love but it is flawed in so many ...let me repeat this SO many ways. But it is the love of my life and I couldnt and cant even in the worst anger and frustration ever think of my life without him. I believe there is something like adult ADD going on with him that makes him some of the ways that make me insane but who am I to talk with my issues? I think so far into love...you just find acceptance and know that..everything will really be okay. No matter what it is and that what is meant to be will and what is not meant to be wont..Peculiarme71https://www.blogger.com/profile/15791580921190744899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post-45176121860440415542012-07-16T14:15:02.732-07:002012-07-16T14:15:02.732-07:00tracy, i had no idea! your comment took my breath ...tracy, i had no idea! your comment took my breath away last night - then i teared up a bit. it just seems like an amazing set of cirucmstances that led me to this place i am in right now and it feels as if the answers are becoming easier and easier to LIVE! <br /><br />i know, from first-hand and second-hand experience that every relationship has it's downsides, that all people have their own struggles, and i think i am finally ready to really keep my own wishes and desires in check. i can have it all if i put forth whatever is required of me and i can direct my energy into better things than thinking the grass looks greener or other people have it somehow easier. i know those things aren't true <3<br /><br />i am following in your footsteps. i wrote down, "i am not afraid of my own power" the other day, on the same piece of paper i wrote down that i couldn't wait for my marriage to be "perfect" - and i don't think any of that clicked until i saw your painting. if so, it was the same day and it clicked even more afterward.<br /><br />this moment is huge and i am thankful that i could share it with you, that you have shared with me. like i said before, i want you to enjoy your upcoming anniversary in SF but if you can squeeze in some time i'd love to squeeze in a champagne conversation and a big hug!valeri blossomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17127320456104934949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3632655288073740255.post-61264222582537283072012-07-16T00:57:22.661-07:002012-07-16T00:57:22.661-07:00Wow! Wow! Wow!!!!!!! I'm going to have to read...Wow! Wow! Wow!!!!!!! I'm going to have to read this again and then we're going to have to talk over a bottle of champagne because there is no way I could put my whole response down on paper. Valeri I dont know if you know this but I have worked with Aspergers teenage boys for 7 years and from your third paragraph my "on the spectrum" radar was going off! What an incredible woman you are and what a wonderful journey you are on! I am honoured that my painting furthered your own inspiration and thankful for your heart discovery. I also think you will find that behind the facade of every perfect grown up couple there are struggles and denials...Marco and I have been together 27 years now and we nearly didn't make it past ten. The big shift for me came when I realised I shouldn't be looking to him to fulfill my need for approval or justify my direction...and guess what? When I took ownership of my own life, my own happiness, regardless of his behaviour, our relationship began to shift, subtly at first, but then more so as I really felt myself come into my own power! I wish you blessings of love and self discovery and if we ever get to have that bottle of champagne you can tell me how THIS moment was the key to your beautiful unfurling not only as an artist but as a woman ♥Tracy Verdugohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01219248470780883864noreply@blogger.com