June 20, 2011

belated weekend update

no kitties came to live with us this weekend.

we did go take a look at the humane shelter near our home on friday but the two cats we were most interested had some concerning behaviours. one kept nipping and clawing at the kids. she was very playful but it was hard to discern whether or not she was also aggravated since she wasn't a kitten and wouldn't stop the behavior after we put the toys down. another cat took a long time to warm up and wouldn't come out of her cubby until i sat down next to it. awesome papa had been in the cat room for about fifteen before i arrived and she pretty much ignored him until then.

she was very cuddly and loving but i had to leave and take bean to work shortly after she came out of hiding. awesome papa let me know there was no point going back since the same cat that i was interested in was sitting in his lap for about five minutes and then, out of nowhere, scratched him pretty badly. he saw the paw coming up towards his face and luckily he closed his eyes, sparing his eyeball, but he received a pretty nasty slice to the eyelid.

we're still waiting to see if the original cat we wanted to adopt is available today but over the weekend, awesome papa seriously reconsidered.

father's day was pretty swell even though we were total homebodies and didn't do anything fun i'd wanted to do. there was an arts in the park event in a neighboring village but awesome papa had a lot of work to do so we stayed home and i tended to chores. it felt good to get all the linens and a few other loads of laundry completed. i even saw the entire task through and put away nearly all of it. even though awesome papa would much prefer gifts in the way of a completely immaculate home and a wife that cooks dinner, i can only do so much. he's not materialistic, whatsoever, but i do hope he liked his loot.

i need to call my dad. i didn't call him yesterday and i completely forgot to send him a card. this has never happened before. i have been late with the cards but never completely forgotten. in this respect, i am my father's daughter since he's not much on time with the cards and phone calls, either. i've battled this for years, often feeling wracked with guilt when i'm late and sorely disappointed when he is but i think i've finally come to terms with the mutual feeing of eh, whatever.

had a good long conversation with my mom yesterday and she asked me what i thought of bean's father on father's day. hmm. i don't think i've seriously contemplated anything about the guy since bean was maybe three or four. i don't thank him for the gift he gave me. i told my mom that it is what it is. it happened. i have always been blessed by the child, himself, but i don't really give the other active participant much credit because he wasn't all that active in the participation of any of this child's life. his contribution was minimal and i've always referred to bean as "my" child, never "ours" because there was never really an "us." i was young and selfish and stubborn and all sorts of things and of course i still have a lot of growing to do as a person, even sixteen years later, but i don't think i'll ever be so great and unforgiving that i can give thanks to someone who got off scot-free.

as bitter as i am if i think about things too long, i am also incredibly blessed to know my husband. awesome papa isn't just a clever nickname, it's true. to say that the man is a terrific father would be the understatement of the century. when i consider the fact that he was raised in a three-boy household by a single mother, i am even more amazed. he has stepped up to the plate and been more of a man in my oldest son's life than anyone i have ever known, in ways i never knew possible. sure, they have had their emotional splits but there is a common respect my son would not have learned anywhere else. the way that my husband connects with and communes our two boys means the world to me. i know that the modern father mostly lives up to this image and i am thankful that so many children today know what it means not only to have a father present but to have a present father. i could say my dad was around even though my parents were divorced but in so many ways he wasn't. he raised another woman's children more than he "raised" me and he probably remains closer to them. as an adult i have had to really work through what impact this had on me but knowing that my young children know their father in a completely real and authentic way and that my oldest son knows that not every man behaves like his stereotypical father, offers me peace i never would have expected :)

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