in an effort to change...

just a while ago, my four year old was enjoying a large, jonagold apple.

i didn't really want any but when i noticed how long it was taking him to finish, i asked if he wanted me to eat the last, untouched slice. he said, "no," so i went about my business.

a few minutes later he offered me the last slice and i agreed to finish it before i realized that he was holding it. the sliced side was taking up his entire palm. the germ-a-phobe-freak-a-zoid my mother raised was completely grossed out.

the rational part of me, which does exist, knew that pea probably washed his hands when we got home or the last time he went pee. since he is my kid and all, he obsessively washes his hands if he even so much as steps foot in a bathroom. the emotional part of me knows that most normal mothers will share food and drink with their offspring without a second thought, without getting grossed out, without reliving a part of their childhood where their mother made them feel like disgusting little creatures even if they were disgusting little creatures who had yet to learn not to touch food and then put it back, or backwash a little into a glass or soda bottle, or not wash their hands before eating, or whatever. and even if the seed of OCD cleanliness has been planted early, kids are kinda gross.

but normal mothers still love them and share food and drink with them.

so i got over all my past life experiences and present habits and did something i've never really done.

i acted like a normal mother.

kidding, kidding, i "act" normal all the time.

but instead of finding a creative way to make pea finish the apple, himself, or coming right out and saying something potentially damaging like "ew, gross," i ate the damn apple slice.

warm cooties and all.